"And What Do You Recommend?"

I find it strange that this wikiHow page on "How to Be a Waiter?" makes no mention of how a waiter should respond when a diner asks for a recommendation on what to order. After all, lots of diners ask for one. From what I can tell, there seem to be two schools of thought among restaurant-goers. The first school is that if you want to know what's good or what's fresh, ask the server for his/her recommendations.

The other school of thought appeals to human cynicism. This other school questions whether a waiter or waitress is really giving you an informed recommendation or simply pulling a "recommendation" out of their hats. Or, even worse, recommending a dish that the restaurant has too much of -- i.e., nobody seems to be ordering the skate in ginger sauce or the poulet normande so the servers are told to recommend these dishes.

I'm caught somewhere in between these two schools. First, I think it depends a lot on the type of restaurant in which you happen to be dining. If the menu is fairly static -- no seasonal shifts or daily specials -- there's less reason to ask about recommendations. Second, I pay close attention to what my server says about the recommended dish. I tend to be suspicious if all they say is: "I recommend the sea bass." I usually want to know why they recommend it. Is it fresh? Is it a specialty of the house? If they can't offer me a little more info, I take their recommendation with a grain of salt (yes, pardon the pun).

Last but not least, I take a cue from the tone of the server's recommendation. If they seem tentative or as if they're reciting a couple of dishes from a list, I tend not to be swayed. But if they sound confident -- like they really want to steer me toward a dish -- I'm more likely to listen. After all, they have to know that the amount of my tip (to some extent) is shaped by whether the food they praised or pushed actually met my expectations.

Deciding how much faith to put in a server's recommendation would be easier if I had a good sense of how many waiters actually eat or try the food in their establishments. I think most servers do eat or try the dishes in top-flight restaurants, but that's just my guess. It's hard to know. If they aren't, there's a problem because waiters can't truly recommend a dish that they haven't tried, can they?

Waiters by Memory

In this article, the Washington Post notes that the old-school practice of waiters relying on their memories to take diners' orders seems to be vanishing. "Good," I thought when I read this. But The Post writes of this trend as if the postal service were stopping mail delivery.

Moreover, The Post profiled a longtime waiter at The Palm:

During a lunch rush last week, he smoothly kept track of the food and beverage demands of almost 20 diners, an ever-shifting matrix of steaks and salads, cocktails and Cokes, running credit cards for some, describing specials to others.

But how "smoothly" did the Palm's waiter take all of those orders?

"I've always gone by memory -- it just feels more professional that way," Weber said above the fork-and-knife clatter. "Sometimes you have to go into the walk-in cooler and scream, yeah, but usually I can keep it all straight without too much trouble."

"Usually" he can keep the details straight? Gee, great. Only one diner at a table of four gets their order screwed up. How comforting.

The Post is wrong to view order-taking-by-memory as a charming tradition that we can't do without. There is nothing quaint about worrying whether a waiter or waitress actually remembered all the details of your table's order. I think this shift to waiters with pens and paper is a very good development.

Waiterly Woes

Are the protocols that guide restaurant servers changing or simply breaking down altogether? I've wondered this lately after several unpleasant experiences at restaurants. In one case, for example, the waiter at a restaurant rushed to clear dishes before all diners at our table had finished the same course.

In other cases, waiters removed plates that still had pieces of food remaining without confirming that we were truly finished.

Even some of the most renowned restaurants seem to hire staff who aren't trained to know how not to be intrusive. Here's an example from this 2005 post on the site San Francisco Gourmet:

The first less-than-stellar experience I had at The French Laundry was in January 2003. The food remained at the same magnificent level as on earlier visits, but the graceful service – described as “balletic” by some – was clearly lacking. Waiters were presenting and clearing dishes from random directions, refilling wine glasses by reaching across the front of guests, and thrusting baskets of fresh white truffles uncomfortably close to diners’ faces.

There's also the unwelcome and unrequested check-dropping of which some waiters are guilty.

Tips for Restaurant Staff

Consider this an appropriate addendum to my last post. It's a list from the N.Y. Times' You're the Boss blog.

Here are a few samples from Part 2 of the list of "100 Things Restaurant Staffers Should Never Do":

• Do not bring judgment with the ketchup. Or mustard. Or hot sauce. Or whatever condiment is requested.
  
• Specials, spoken and printed, should always have prices.
  
• Do not ask if someone is finished when others are still eating that course.
  
• Do not ask, "Are you still working on that?" Dining is not work -- until questions like this are asked.
  
• Do not ask if a guest needs change. Just bring the change.