In World War II, the U.S. military wrote and distributed a special booklet entitled "Instructions for American Servicemen in France."
The booklet provided an overview of the culture of la belle France, including a description of the kinds of food and drink that U.S. soldiers would likely encounter. Here is one excerpt that amused me — an excerpt that seems most appropriate as champagne bottles are readied to celebrate the new year:
Champagne is that expensive fizzy processed white wine.
Fizzy processed white wine. Not exactly the words that Madison Avenue would use to sell champagne.