Wednesday, March 18, 2009

The Unthinkable "Uncrustables"

Just the other day, I saw this package in the freezer case at a grocery store. It was so bizarre that I almost did a double-take. It's a product that proves that American food marketing trends are getting scarier each year.

Smucker's makes them, and they are called Uncrustables. They are frozen peanut butter "soft bread" sandwiches (PB & J and peanut butter-and-honey are among the varieties). You're supposed to buy them, throw them in the freezer, take them out and let them thaw, and then eat 'em. Quick question: How can a frozen sandwich be described (as this label does) as having "soft bread"?

First of all, I wouldn't want my peanut butter frozen . . . for any reason. I realize that the Uncrustables target demographic is the parents of petulant children, but I still don't get it.

Since when is it considered child abuse to serve a kid a PB & J on normal sandwich bread?

And what makes the Uncrustables a time-saver? By the time you could thaw it (or defrost it in a microwave), you could have made a PB & J sandwich and simply cut off the edges of the bread.

American food manufacturers, the fine people who brought us frozen pizza (ick!), are now trying to sell us frozen PB & J sandwiches. Has the world gone positively mad? Who would buy this?

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